Crazy But Able

Wake up. Trudge to auto parts store. “Sorry, we don’t carry hoses. Try the Napa store down the street.” Trudge to Napa store. “Sorry, we don’t stock hoses. We can order you one.” Back to the motel room. Looked in the phone book for auto parts stores, found several, called them all until I found one that carried hoses.

It’s two miles away. Of course. Went to explain the situation to the motel guy; we’re really checked out but our car is here in your parking lot. He offers to give us a ride for five dollars. I briefly consider arguing with him but decide against it. At this point, I don’t care anymore. Went to auto parts store, got a new bendy hose, came back. Put new bendy hose on. Is it kinked? Of course! Top off car with coolant, again (having the foresight this time to bring our jug of ice into the motel room last night.) I noticed that the rubber seal on the radiator cap is ripping off from taking it on and off so much; back to the parts store. They don’t stock radiator caps. On to the Napa store, they have a replacement which they claim works, but it looks like it has less rubber on it than mine that’s broken! Screw it. Back to the car.

Called mom, got her to do some investigative work, like, where’s the nearest Subaru dealership? Got the phone number of Miller Hill Subaru in Duluth. The Plan at this point is to try to get home, but we’ll stop in Duluth and get a real hose in case something goes wrong with this one.

We get to Ashland, and drive through Ashland no problem. Outside of Ashland, with no warning, the temp gauge just spikes. Immediately pull over. This time we waited for an hour. Spock and McCoy attempt a daring escape and are being chased by Klingons! Okay, the engine is cool, so time to check the coolant level… maybe the bottom coolant hose ruptured? Nope. Coolant level is full. Hmm.

The Plan is now to get to the nearest town and call a tow truck to take us to Duluth. We nearly get to the next town, when the temp gauge suddenly spikes for the sky again. Spock and McCoy are trapped on a little ship which is being remote controlled by Klingons. How will they get control of their ship back?

Someone pulls over and offers us a ride to the next town (which we can see from where we’re parked.) We get to a service station, only to find out that they don’t have any flatbed wreckers (which we need because I have all wheel drive… this can’t be simple, oh no). Nearest flatbed tow truck is in Duluth. Call them and get them to come tow us. Call mom to get her to come up to Duluth to pick us up. Spock and McCoy foil the evil plans of the Klingons, hooray. New Star Trek book. (I thought ahead and brought an extra from the car. By the way, thanks for the Star Trek books Gail!) Oooh, Kirk goes down to an alien planet and jokingly leaves McCoy in charge of the Enterprise. What could possibly go wrong?

Tow truck guy comes. He smokes and likes to listen to country music. Peggy and I elbow each other during the mushy love songs.

Drop off car in Duluth at the same time that Mom gets there; hooray for Fortuitous Timing. Fortunately, tow truck guy takes checks. Mom drives us home, I tell her all of the above story. Yesterday we got a call with the estimate and list of what was wrong with the car. Today we got a whole new list of things that are wrong with the car, and a new and improved and a vastly more expensive estimate. Outstanding!

Cost list for part five:

• New bendy hose: $9.35.
• Ride from motel guy: $5.00.
• Tow from the middle of HW to Duluth: $145.13.

Here’s what’s wrong with the car:

• Needs a new battery (did I mention that it went dead from leaving the blinkers on so long? I needed a new one anyway, remember how my car wouldn’t start when it was -5 outside?)
• Needs new top and bottom radiator hoses (might as well replace the bottom one too.)
• Head gasket leaks “pretty badly” into the coolant system. Or the coolant system leaks into the head gasket. Or something like that. Either way, we have to disassemble your entire engine and it’s going to cost well over a thousand dollars.
• Needs new spark plugs
• Needs a new oil pressure sender relief valve or something or other. It’s leaking, whatever the heck it is.
• The right inner CV boot is split wide open, and the left inner one is cracked pretty bad.
• Oh, did we forget to mention that you need new front brakes?
• And this estimate (2,700 smackeroos) doesn’t include what the machine shop is going to charge for inspecting and fiddling with your SomethingOrOtherWhateverTheHeckItIs. We should be done with your car by sometime next week.

Handy navigation links:

• Part One: Hated Wisconsin
• Part Two: How NOT to make a U-turn
• Part Three: Dare To Be Stupid
• Part Four: Crazy Yooper Mechanics
• Part Five: Conclusion

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 30th, 2004 at 5:00 pm and is filed under general foofiness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.